My Funeral

After a young lady here in town passed away from an accidental overdose I got to thinking. She probably never planned for her funeral. How she wanted, what music she wanted, nothing. I don't want someone else planning my last hurrah. I know how I want it, what music I want played. I can tell you right now, NO PSALMS ARE TO BE READ!! I hate listening to people drone on reading some passage from the bible. Loathesome stuff. I don't want any of that depressing organ music either. Its obnoxious and I won't abide it being played at my funeral. No pastor who never knew me is to perform the service. No. I want a close friend. Draw straws and let that decide who. I want people to tell happy, funny, outrageous stories about me. Laughing, dammit. I want a lot of laughter at my funeral. Only one bouquet of flowers is permitted. Sterling roses. Given by my family. Everyone else is to please donate to the animal welfare association of their choice or the American Diabetes Association. When it comes time to put me in the ground, I want bagpipes played. Just don't let 'em play Amazing Grace. That is going to be played at the viewing or whatever the hell I decide on. I don't want a headstone or a footstone. When its all said and done, I want a statue of an angel planted deadcenter of where I'm buried. Preferably an angel with a Celtic cross. Yeah I'm going a bit Scottish on this but its what I love and its what I want.