Some Days Are Better Than Others

I said I would chart my progress here and I should stick to my word. However things here haven't been as easy as they could have been. On June 21st, Sassy got very sick and slowly deteriorated til, on June 26th, we had to make "The Big Decision". It was also the week of my vacation. The worst vacation on record, I might add. To find out I was overdosing her with insulin was bad enough. Sassy made the call that it was time to end this, I just had to be her voice. Never in my life have I wished more to be mute.

*What made it all more tolerable was the love, caring and support of my friends, both online and local. Tj and I both received such an outpouring of sympathy. I was overwhelmed. I never realized just how many people actually CARED. No one said to me "Well she was just a dog, get over it." Lucky for them. I'd hate to spend time in jail for assault.

*Through it all my coworkers were especially kind and comforting. Hugs, well wishes, checking in with me daily to see how Sassy was. Checking to see how I was. It made a very hard time in my life, emotionally and mentally, that much easier. Now I feel like I am back on track, we have Sassy's ashes here at the house and she is wanting me to move forward. I think I am ready.

*This coming weekend my husband and I will be going camping to an SCA event of his. I'm excited. I have found my love for camping again. This is a pretty large event with lots of vendors so I cannot wait to go and spend money on trinkets and shit. The time away will be welcome and needed.

*But what has me REALLY excited this summer is the Maine Highland Games in August! This is my major high every summer. It will be at a different venue this year but that's okay. I'm still counting down the days! Mom and I already picked out a dress pattern and soon we'll have the material in hand and start working on it. Yes, I do plan to dress up this year. The material we plan to work with is light, breathable and far from constricting. Its a simple pattern so this shouldn't take long to make at all. Best of all, its so simple we could churn out a few dresses of different colors in no time. Then I'll have more to wear to TJ's SCA events and not have to worry about looking like the weirdo because I'm NOT dressed up.

*I've decided not to focus so much on getting pregnant anymore. I build myself up every month and end up depressed. So I am going to just let nature take its course and it will happen when and IF its meant to happen. Kinda hard when you've given up on a dream of yours but I can't focus all my energy there and ignore all the rest of my life and what is going on. I figure if unwed teenage girls can get pregnant than so can I!

*And on a final note, just to show you what a total dork I am, I GOT A CLOTHESLINE AT LAST!! WOOHOO! No more heating up the house and running up the electric bill using the dryer! It only took the clothes an hour to dry on the line! Less time than it takes in the dryer. Sweet!! Now...I just need a clothes pin bag.