So I did some research to find a school in Bangor that taught Massage Therapy so I could get my state license. I thought I had found the ideal fit for me and allowed myself to get really excited. Well once I read up on it some more, I realized, its just not financially possible for me to go to this school. I don't have $6,000 to spare. The books alone cost $300 and each weekend class costs $222. And the classes are only two weekends a month so the schooling would take 15 months to complete. ARGH!!
I'm not going to give up hope just yet. There has to be another school. There cannot be just the one. And if I can't find a nearby school for this I am going to take it as a sign that I am not meant for that particular career path. I won't let it stop me from pursuing other possibilities however. I refuse to believe I am meant to work where I am at now for the rest of my life. Sweet baby Jesus, I hope not. That would be too depressing. Until I can find a school that is a good fit, financially and all other ways for me, I am just going to have to look for a new job.
I know, I know. Giving up a full time job that is five minutes from home with benefits seems like a stupid thing to do but when you are as miserable as I am there? It seems like the most logical thing to do. I've been with this company for almost 11 years. I think I have served my time there. Some people might enjoy that type of work but not me. Its taken a toll on my knees, my back, my whole body. Mentally, I'm just not into the job anymore. I need something more. I have to believe I am meant for something better.
My husband supports me in my decision whether its schooling or finding a different job and his support makes all the difference. What sucks is, I carry our health insurance. If I got done we would lose that insurance and he would lose his insulin pump. Not to mention I would lose my excellent copay on my own meds. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. But somehow, we will make it work. My mental wellbeing is more important to me than some health insurance.
I just have to figure out what it is I am qualified to do. Working in retail for so long, I only have the skills for that kind of work and that is the very work I want to get away from. But I went into the job with no skills whatsoever so I can always learn something new. The question is, what the hell do I want to do? All I can tell people is, my next job is to have nothing to do with retail. I don't want to have to set up another season months in advance. I don't want to be looking at Halloween crap in July!
My husband encourages me to work on my writing. A great idea...if I knew what the hell to write about! Articles for a paper? A book? My autobiography? SNORT!! Ever since I started on my meds I have found my urge to write to be sporadic at best. Hell, I can hardly keep up with this blog much less write a story. But its an idea. Even if all I do is write for the local small town paper. Its a start. Maybe it will get my foot in the door to something bigger. What harm can there be in it? They won't print what I write? Big deal. Not everything needs to be seen in big print. I just want to find something that will get me out of retail and into a job I love.
No comments:
Post a Comment