GodDAMMIT

I give up. I just give up. I cannot get ahead no matter how many pennies I pinch. Something always comes along to fuck me over. I never should have put that schooling in for automatic deduction of payments. I'm $137 in the goddamn hole and I was UBER cautious in my spending. It was the $31.85 that started the mess. I thought I had money still sitting in my account and I was wrong. Just as I have a damn budget plan in my head something like this comes along to fuck it all up. I am seriously considering selling some of my things JUST to have extra money since Rite Aid pays shit. I don't do enough massages lately to do a damn thing and I don't know what all else I can do. All the crying in the world won't make this better but its all I can do right now. Cry, swear and hate everything. My next paycheck was going to pay for my car registration which is only 2 months late, pay the phone bill which is on time, put gas in my vehicle, tuck some money away for Christmas next year and then put some towards property taxes. Now? Fuck, I'll be lucky if I can get my vehicle registered and put gas in my vehicle. I HAVE to register my vehicle no matter what and that will take up about half of what is to be my paycheck. So what do I do with the rest? There is a loan payment to make...that will take almost $100. I could always pay the phone bill with my next check. It will be late but it will at least be paid. Nevermind. I can't register my vehicle. I just remembered the fucking insurance on our vehicles has to be paid out of this paycheck. Yup, its official. I'm fucked. I'm fucking fucked. And yeah, I feel almost suicidal.